Warrior cats got talent
by Macygracie
Summary: Welcome to warrior cats got talent! Join smoketalon and rosethorn as they look for the best talent at the lake! Who will win? For the next round, I have decided to let the first person to review, with these details, be the guest commentator: Your username: Name of commentator: Commentators Personality: commentators favourite thing: The only rule is: only OCs. Have fun!
1. Chapter 1: introduction

Rosethorn: hello and welcome to warrior cats got talent! I am rosethorn

Smoketalon: and I am smoketalon. Welcome to warrior cats got talent. We are your commentators

Squirrelflight: what does this say?

Rosethorn and Smoketalon: YOU SERIOUSLY CANT READ

Squirrelflight: what is reading?

Rosethorn: :sighs: it says :whispers in squirrelflights ear:

Squirrelflight: And I am squirrelflight, the guest commentator for this round of warrior cats got talent

Smoketalon: There are 6 rounds in the auditions. Thunderclan, shadowclan, riverclan, windclan, skyclan and fanclan.

Squirrelflight: whats fanclan

rosethorn: Its for cats from fanfictions. We chose the name fanclan because it rymes and fanfictionclan is too long

smoketalon: unlike other cats, they will say which fanfiction the come from before starting

Rosethorn: there will be 10 cats in each round.

Squirrelflight: what does this say

Smoketalon: just talk about whats happening

Squirrelflight: ok... Theres a cloud in the sky that looks like a bird, theres a rainbow coloured bird over there, and purdy just died of old age

Rosethorn: just be quiet

Smoketalon: the judges will be mistystar, onestar, rowanstar and bramblestar

Rosethorn: the judges will choose 5 cats to go to the next round, where they will face off against cats from the other clans. They will choose by giving them a 10/10 score. If the overall score is 30 or over, they are into the next round

Smoketalon: first up: thunderclan!

 **(And now we grieve for purdy, and the little rainbow bird now in Smoketalons stomach)**


	2. Chapter 2: thunderclan auditions

Smoketalon: hello watchers! This is smoketalon and rosethorn, your commentators for warrior cats got talent

Rosethorn: our first contestant is snowbush

Snowbush: (in a deep voice) my name is snowbush, and i will be reading a poem about my life

Smoketalon: okay then lets start

Snowbush:

My life started off in the nursery

A place hidden under a tall tall tree

The dark forest attacked and many died

They tried to kill many but not me

I became an apprentice in bramblestars storm

And because I was really in exellent form

It was before my elders seedkit and lilykit

Even though they were older than my lifeform

I was a devoted apprentice

I was really portentous

I worked all day and night

And my speed was momentous

When my warrior ceremony finally came

You know what bramblestar made my name?

Snowbush, an ugly, bulbous title

Despite my well known kindness and fame

I hate my name, I hate it so much, I just want it to leave

If it did, I wouldn't want to grieve

I would celebrate with a hip hip and hooray

Because thats all I ever wanted to achieve

Onestar: do you know how hard it is to come up with a warrior name that hasn't been used before? 8/10

Bramblestar: I take offence. 0/10

Mistystar: (crying) beautiful! 10/10

Rowanstar: :snore: huh? Errr... 6/10

Lilyheart: YOU CALLED ME AN ELDER

Everyone else: :snore:

Smoketalon: snowbush is OUT

Rosethorn: next up is... Squirrelflight

Smoketalon: who will be our guest commentator then

Squirrelflight: huh? Is it my turn yet

Rosethorn: squirrelflight jumps on stage

Squirrelflight: I will be doing acrobatics

Rosethorn: squirrelflight leaps around in acrobatic grace, she jumps, and she bellyflops. Did I just hear a crack

Smoketalon: medicine cats rush in with strechers to rush the wounded squirrelflight to the medicine cats den

Bramblestar: (crying) no! Don't take her away from me! 10/10

Mistystar: nope. 5/10

Rowanstar: hmmm... Very nice, great to see a thunderclan cat go crack. 8/10

Onestar: poor squirrelflight. 7/10

Rosethorn: and squirrelflight is the first cat through to the next round

Smoketalon: next up is... Brightheart

Brightheart: I am renouned for being the best opera singer in thunderclan, and thats what I'm doing today

Rosethorn: ok. You are ready to perform

Brightheart:

My vooooiiiiiiiccccccceeeeeee is so looooooooovvellyyyyy todayyyyyyyyy

So high that its up in the cloooooooooouuuuuuuudddddddds

My vooooiiiiiiiccccccceeeeeee is so looooooooovvellyyyyy

Todayyyyyyyyy

Cats will applaaauud it in crooooooowwwwwwwwddddddds

My voice is so high

That its up in the sky

The glasses shall crack and shatter

Not that it will matter

My vooooiiiiiiiccccccceeeeeee is so looooooooovvellyyyyy todayyyyyyyyy

So high that its up in the cloooooooooouuuuuuuudddddddds

My vooooiiiiiiiccccccceeeeeee is so looooooooovvellyyyyy

Todayyyyyyyyy

Cats will applaaauud it in crooooooowwwwwwwwddddddds

(Glasses shatter)

Bramblestar: everyone is now deaf. 1/10

Rowanstar: a good weapon. But since its not for us, 5/10

Mistystar: I sympathise with you. 9/10

Onestar: horrible. 0/10

Smoketalon: so brightheart is not through to the next round. But our next contestant, lilyheart might

Rosethorn: so what are you doing lilyheart

Lilyheart: an act of hypnotism

Smoketalon: you may start

Lilyheart: done

Bramblestar: 10/10

Mistystar: 10/10

Onestar: 10/10

Rowanstar: 10/10

Rosethorn: it appears that lilyheart has hypnotised the judges into giving her all tens. We may need a referee now, but lilyheart is through to the next round

Smoketalon: next will be... Graystripe

Graystripe: today I will be doing... MAGIC

Audience: oooooohhhhhhhh

Rosethorn: you may start

Graystripe: may I have a volunteer

Audience: Me! Me!

Graystripe: I will choose... Tawnypelt

Tawnypelt: SQUEEEEEEEEEEEE

Graystripe: go into this box

Tawnypelt: yes I will do anything you say graystripe the great

Smoketalon: and tawnypelt gets into the box. Graystripe gets out a big saw, and starts to saw tawnypelt in half!

Rosethorn: oh no, it looks like graystripe will have some explaining to do!

Smoketalon: the box is pulled apart, only to see that there is a furry thing inside both of them covered in something sticky, and red.

Rosethorn: I can't watch!

Smoketalon: but the box is pulled back together, to reveal... Tawnypelt alive, well, and in one piece. Exept for a bit of fur that graystripe accidentally shaved off

Mistystar: what an amazing performance! 10/10

Onestar: I thought we had one less shadowclan warrior to deal with! 10/10

Bramblestar: you gave me a heart attack. 5/10

Rowanstar: you gave me a double heart attack. 5/10

Rosethorn: and graystripe is through to the next round

Smoketalon: and now we have finally been given a referee. His name is sol.

Bramblestar: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

Rosethorn: well anyway, the next contestant is Bumblestripe

Bumblestripe: I will be doing um... Comedy

Sol: you may start only after firestar has blown the trumpet

Firestar: starclan cats don't breathe

Sol: then lionblaze shall blow the trumpet, as he can not participate in this show, due to his powers

Lionblaze: hey! I just lost my powers

Sol: too bad sucker. I'm the referee

Lionblaze blows the trumpet. PFFFFFFFT. He has no talent at all

Rosethorn: bumblestripe appears to be bumbling around, unaware of what to do

Bumblestripe: oh no. I forgot my tutu

Smoketalon: A serious crisis has occurred. Bumblestripe has lost his tutu HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Bumblestripe: um, dovewing, I need you to come up and dance with me

Dovewing: BUT I ONLY KNOW THE TANGO

Bumblestripe: I know that one too, now come on and dance with me

Rosethorn: Dovewing jumps on stage. They dance until Bumblestripe slips, with claps from the audience. He then hurries off stage

Bramblestar: I can see why his parents called him bumblekit. 0/10

Mistystar: the funniest thing I ever heard! 10/10

Onestar: same here

Rowanstar: and here

Smoketalon: so bumblestripe is through to the next round!

Rosethorn: our next contestant is... Cloudtail

Cloudtail: I will dissapear

Lionblaze blows the trumpet dadadaPFFFFFFT. Still has no talent

Smoketalon: cloudtail ducks behind the curtains

Bramblestar: plain 0

Onestar: same

Rowanstar: same

Mistystar: poor cloudtail! 9/10

Rosethorn: cloudtail is out!

Smoketalon: next contestant is dustpelt

Dustpelt: I will be doing Xtreme rock

Rosethorn: start after lionblaze... Nope lionblaze just quit. Start after jayfeather has blown the trumpet

Pfffft RING RING pfft ring ring.

Smoketalon: As jayfeather is blind, he has accidentally blown the telephone. But dustpelt is off

Jayfeather: HEY

Dustpelt:

FERNCLOUD I LOVE YOU

I MIGHT BE AN ELDER

BUT I STILL LOVE YOU

FERNCLOUD I LOVE YOU

ferncloud i love you

Fern... Cloud... I... Love... You...

Rosethorn: exhausted by his efforts, dustpelt collapses to the ground

Bramblestar: 0/10

Onestar: 2/10

Rowanstar: 1/10

Mistystar: what a tragedy! Ferncloud and dustpelt, forever together. 10/10

Smoketalon: dustpelt failed miserably, and is out of the competition

Rosethorn: next up is leafpool

Leafpool: I will be quick sorting herbs

Smoketalon: um... Ok

Rosethorn: a pile of herbs is dumped on the stage

Pfffft oink! Pfffft SQUEAL PFFT

Smoketalon: now jayfeather has chosen the pig but anyway... Leafpool has now sorted the herbs into neat piles for each type of herb

Bramblestar: boring 1/10

Rowanstar: boring 1/10

Onestar: boring 1/10

Mistystar: it was so fast! 10/10

Rosethorn: Its time for our last contestant: Ambermoon

Ambermoon: I will be dancing, with the help of my faithful brother, Dewnose

Smoketalon: dewnose pads on stage

Pffffffft JAYFEATHER WHAT ARE YOU DOING

Rosethorn: now jayfeather has chosen to blow on leafpools neat piles of leaves. But ambermoon is dancing despite the only music being leafpools yelling

Smoketalon: dewnose holds ambermoon up, and lets go, but luckily she lands gracefully on the stage

Bramblestar: great dancing 9/10

Rowanstar: best dancing Ive ever seen 9/10

Onestar: graceful as the ripple of water on the lakeshore 9/10

Mistystar: I couldn't do better myself. 10/10

Rosethorn: so ambermoon is through to the next round. And thats thunderclan sorted. Snowbush, brightheart, cloudtail, dustpelt and leafpool are out, and lilyheart, squirrelflight, graystripe, bumblestripe and ambermoon

Smoketalon: join you next time for shadowclans auditions


	3. Chapter 3: shadowclan auditions

Rosethorn: hello and welcome back to warrior cats got talent. This is rosethorn

Smoketalon: and this is smoketalon

Pinenose: what does this say?

Rosethorn: can ANY of you warriors read

Pinenose: nope

Smoketalon: Well if you can't read, just go away!

Pinenose: ok then. :sniff:

Smoketalon: now we have the shadowclan auditions. Lets start with crowfrost

Crowfrost: I will be doing long division

Rosethorn: err... Ok. Start after jayfeather blows the trumpet

Pffft find out now on fffft warrrior cats got talent

Smoketalon: wow. Now he's blown the radio

Crowfrost: 8829173819dividedby3728927is6382926371927

Dividedby172839is1638...

Audience: :snore:

Bramblestar: booorrrrinnngggg 0/10

Onestar: plain 0

Mistystar: amazing! Ive never seen long division done so fast! 9/10

Rowanstar: you always were the best at maths. Thats why I made you deputy. 10/10

Shadowclan: WHAT

Rosethorn: well then, crowfrost is out due to his :yawn: boring act. Now we have tawnypelt

Crowfrost: HEY

Tawnypelt: I will be singing christmas carols

Smoketalon: ok then. Start after jayfeather has blown the trumpet

Pfffffft YUUUUCCCCCKKKKK

Rosethorn: now jayfeather has blown on his mouse bile. But tawnypelt has started singing

Tawnypelt:

Squeaky mouse!

Squeaky mouse!

Squeaking all the way!

Oh what fun, it is to chase, a little tiny mouse!

Dashing through the camp!

With a tendril of brambles!

Through the dens we go!

Purring all the way!

Leaves on dead twigs rustle!

Making spirits high!

Oh what fun it is to sing!

A leaf-bare song tonight!

Squeaky mouse!

Squeaky mouse!

Squeaking all the way!

Oh what fun, it is to chase, a little tiny mouse!

Onestar: ah, a classic. 7/10

Mistystar: so old, but sung so beautifully. 9/10

Rowanstar: not as old as you mistystar. 10/10

Bramblestar: ha ha good one. 10/10

Mistystar: grrrrrrrrrrrr

Smoketalon: well, lets just leave the judges to that. Tawnypelt is through to the next round! Next up we have littlecloud

Littlecloud: I will be breakdancing

Rosethorn: ok then, start after jayfeather has blown on something

Pffffffffft YEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUCCCCHHHHH

Smoketalon: now he's blown on the electric fence. I'm starting to think we might need a new trumpet blower...

Rosethorn: but littlecloud is breakdancing to the max!

Smoketalon: worrrrp dudududududu wooorrrrp dudundudn

Rosethorn: for the last time smoketalon, you are not a cat beatbox!

Bramblestar: huh. What sort of dancing IS that

Onestar: rad! 10/10

Mistystar: mamamamamamamamamaaaaaaaaa mamamamamamamamamaaaaaaaaa... 10/10

Rowanstar: rad dude! 10/10

Smoketalon: so littlecloud is through! Man that was good. But next up is owlclaw

Owlclaw: I will beat lionblaze single pawed!

Rosethorn: start after jayfeather blows the trumpet

SQUEEEEEAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL

Smoketalon: well, a whistle is better than a pig!

Rosethorn: owlclaw slaps lionblazes face and...

Sol: OUT! No fighting! Disqualified!

Shadowclan: BOOOOOOOOOOO

Lionblaze: thank goodness

Smoketalon: well after that unfortunate event, we have scorchfur!

Scorchfur: I will fight lionblaze till he cries for his mama!

Rosethorn: start after jayfeather blows the trumpet

Pfffffftt SQUEEEEEEAAAAAAKKKKKKK

Smoketalon: Now he's just scared away his lunch.

Jayfeather: FOX DUNG

Rosethorn: scorchfur scratches lionblazes face and...

Sol: OUT! No fighting! Disqualified!

Lionblaze: pheeeewwww

Rosethorn: it looks like some of these shadowclan cat have a bone to pick with lionblaze. Well, scorchfur is out, with tigerheart to follow

Tigerheart: I will be singing roar by katy perry

Smoketalon: Well then. Start after jayfeather blows the trumpet

Pffffffft pffffffft BARK BARK

Rosethorn: someone had better go save jayfeather from that dog...

Tigerheart:

I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath

Scared to rock the boat and make a mess

So I sit quietly, agree politely

I guess that I forgot I had a choice

I let you push me past the breaking point

I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything

You held me down, but I got up HEY!

Already brushing off the dust

You hear my voice, you hear that sound

Like thunder gonna shake the ground

You held me down, but I got up HEY!

Get ready 'cause I've had enough

I see it all, I see it now

I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire

'Cause I am a champion and you're gonna hear me roar

Louder, louder than a lion

'Cause I am a champion and you're gonna hear me roar

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

You're gonna hear me roar

Now I'm floating like a butterfly

Stinging like a bee I earned my stripes

I went from zero, to my own hero

You held me down, but I got up HEY!

Already brushing off the dust

You hear my voice, you hear that sound

Like thunder gonna shake the ground

You held me down, but I got up HEY!

Get ready 'cause I've had enough

I see it all, I see it now

I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire

'Cause I am a champion and you're gonna hear me roar

Louder, louder than a lion

'Cause I am a champion and you're gonna hear me roar

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

You're gonna hear me roar

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

You'll hear me roar

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

You're gonna hear me roar...

Ro-oar, ro-oar, ro-oar, ro-oar, ro-oar

I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire

'Cause I am a champion and you're gonna hear me roar

Louder, louder than a lion

'Cause I am a champion and you're gonna hear me roar

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

You're gonna hear me roar

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

You'll hear me roar

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

You're gonna hear me roar...

Bramblestar: cliche. We've heard enough of the fire tiger prophecy 1/10

Onestar: 9/10 yeah, of course you're a tiger

Mistystar: amazing! 10/10

Rowanstar: I'm so proud of you my son!10/10

Smoketalon: tigerheart is through to the next round! Next up we have... Ferretclaw!

Ferretclaw: I will scratch lionblaze till he wishes he was never born!

Lionblaze: WHAT IN STARCLANS NAME IS WRONG WITH THESE CATS?

Rosethorn: start after jayfeather blows the trumpet

Pfffffft FERNCLOUD I LOVE YOU FERNCLOUD I LOVE YOU

Smoketalon: No. Don't make us listen to that awful somg again. Who even recorded it anyway...

Rosethorn: ferretclaw scratches lionblazes face and...

Sol: OUT! No fighting! Disqualified!

Lionblaze: Sol is my new bestie!

Smoketalon: wow, these are some bloodthirsty cats

Rosethorn: but next up is stoatfur

Stoatfur: I will bite lionblaze till his eyes fall out!

Lionblaze: fox dung

Rosethorn: start after jayfeather blows the trumpet

Pfffffftt tatatatatatatatata

Smoketalon: Whats he blown on this time...

Rosethorn: stoatfur scratches lionblazes face and...

Sol: OUT! No fighting! Disqualified!

Lionblaze: THANKYOU THANKYOU SOL!

Smoketalon: well... Er... Stoatfur is out, and snowbird is in!

Snowbird: I will be doing comedy

Lionblaze: finally...

Rosethorn: well then, start after jayfeather blows the trumpet

Pfffffft hooo hhoooo YEEEEOOOOOUUUUUCCCCHHHH

Smoketalon: :sigh: jayfeather is going to be eaten by badgers one day. But snowbird starts her act

Snowbird: funny funny warrior names! Wop wop wop

Funny funny warrior names! Wop wop wop

Scorchfur: whaaaaaat

Snowbird:

Appledapple

Brightflight

Whitelight

Nightbright

Heatherfeather

Sootfoot

Rosenose

Ashsplash

Fawndawn

Longsong

And many many more in store!

Firebriar

Briarfire

Snailtail

Sneezebreeze

Loudcloud

Smallfall

Cherryberry

Pikestrike

Theres so many more just hand me the mike!

Lostfrost

Rye-eye

Nettlepetal

Vineshine

Sheepleap

Snookbrook

Tornthorn

starlingwing

Primrosenose

Deerear

Redhead

Thats all I have lets go to bed!

Bramblestar: mock me all you like, I won't change snowbushes name. 0/10

Onestar: hahaha 10/10

Mistystar: 10/10 all the way!

Rowanstar: hhahahhahahahahaha 10/10

Rosethorn: well then, snowbird is through to the next round! Next up will be dawnpelt

Dawnpelt: I will be singing let it go

Smoketalon: start after jayfeather risks his life blowing on something

Pfffffffffft half moon! Don't go! ... Pfffffft I love you...

Rosethorn: WHO WAS LISTENING TO THE TRAGIC TALES OF LOVE CHANNEL

Smoketalon: who cares, I love that channel

Rosethorn: lets just get back to commentating

Smoketalon: ok then. Dawnpelt has started!

Dawnpelt: the snow glows white...

Audience. BOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Onestar: gah I hate that song. 1/10

Bramblestar: tawnypelt would kill me if I gave her daughter a zero... 9/10

Mistystar: I love that song! 10/10

Rowanstar: you go girl! 10/10

Rosethorn: so dawnpelt is through to the next round

Audience: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Smoketalon: thats shadowclans auditions done and dusted

Rosethorn: we say goodbye to crowfrost, owlclaw, scorchfur, Ferretclaw, and stoatfur, but littlecloud, tawnypelt, tigerheart, dawnpelt and snowbird are through to the next round

Smoketalon: see you next time on warrior cats got talent for

Riverclans auditions!


	4. Chapter 4: riverclan auditions

**Disclaimer: I did not invent the phrases: out of cheese error, MELON MELON MELON, or divide by cucumber. They come from hex, a machine in the book hogfather by terry pratchett.**

Rosethorn: hello, and welcome back to warrior cats got talent for riverclans auditions! I am rosethorn

Smoketalon: and I am smoketalon

Shimmerpelt: what does this say?

Rosethorn: WHAT IN THE NAME OF STARCLAN DO YOU DO AS APPRENTICES

Shimmerpelt: errr... Learn how to fish and fight

Smoketalon: go away. Just go away

Shimmerpelt: :sob:

Rosethorn: well then, lets get started with riverclans auditions!

Smoketalon: first up is... Heavystep

Heavystep: I will die without dying

Audience: 0_O

Rosethorn: awesome! Start after jayfeather blows on the trumpet

 **Pfffffffffftt CANDY!**

Smoketalon: NOOOOOOOO! NOT MY CANDY!

Heavystep: mapleshade, come on stage!

Mapleshade: what for?

Smoketalon: I NEED A BODYGUARD! I NEED A BODYGUARD

Heavystep: kill me mapleshade

Mapleshade: YAY! :kills heavystep:

Heavystep: I thought I said kill me :gets up:

Mapleshade: 0_O :kills heavystep 500 times:

Heavystep:gets up 500 times: thats right.

Mapleshade: :incinerates heavystep: I QUIT

Smoketalon: :picks up telephone: hello, is that the pokemon market? I would like to buy a mew and a moltres for a bodyguard please

Rosethorn: :sigh:

Judges: 0_O :freeze in time:

Rosethorn: I'll take that as 4 10/10s

Smoketalon: yay! Mew and moltres have arrived! So have the flamethrowers I ordered

Rosethorn: YAY! I LOVE MEW

Smoketalon: you can have her, as long as I can have the super flamethrower

Rosethorn: deal

Smoketalon: sooo... What happened?

Mistystar: Heavystep is through to the next round, now GET ON WITH COMMENTATING

Rosethorn: ok then... Errrrr... Next up is mallownose

Mallownose: I will be doing leaf blowing

Smoketalon: ok then, start after jayfeather blows the trumpet

Jayfeather: :crunch: huh?

Smoketalon: GET OFF MY CANDY!

Moltres: daaauraaa :lifts flamethrower:

Jayfeather: ok ok, I'll blow the trumpet.

 **Pffffffffffffft CHOCOLATE!**

Moltres: :burns jayfeathers hair off: daaauraaa

Rosethorn: mallownose blows on leafpools piles of herbs and...

Mallownose: YEEEEEEEOOOOOOUUUUUUUCCCCHHHH

Leafpool: don't mess with me again, or I do more than burn your ears off

Mallownose: sorry, I can't hear you, you burned my ears off with smoketalons super flamethrower

Leafpool: :burns mallownose to ashes: I SAID DON'T MESS WITH ME AGAIN OR I DO MORE THAN BURN YOUR EARS OFF! :walks off in a huff:

Smoketalon: as ashes are not allowed to perform in warrior cats got talent, mallownose is now out

Mallownoses ashes: hey!

Rosethorn: ashes don't have mouths, so be quiet!

Smoketalon: next up is duskfur

Duskfur: I am doing comedy!

Rosethorn: as many cats are miss I'm doing comedy

Duskfur: thankyou for your inspirational speech miss I hate comedy

Smoketalon: start after errrrr... Who is jayfeathers replacement while he gets a wig?

Rosethorn: lets just say... Firestar!

Firestar: star. Clan. Cats. Don't. Breathe.

Smoketalon: well then... Errrrr... Cherrypaw will blow it

Cherrypaw: SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

 **Dalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaa!**

Rosethorn: finally...

Duskfur: finally...

Rosethorn: huh?

Duskfur: huh?

Rosethorn: what are you doing?

Duskfur: what are you doing?

Rosethorn: I thought you were doing comedy

Duskfur: I thought you were doing comedy

Rosethorn: mew, come here and incinerate this nutso

Duskfur: mew, come here and incinerate this nutso

Mew: :lifts flamethrower: mew?

Rosethorn: not me you idiot, her!

Duskfur: not me you idiot, her!

Mew: :singes rosethorns fur off: mew!

Rosethorn: grrrrrrrrrrrr...

Duskfur: grrrrrrrrrrrr...

Rosethorn: just. Stop. Copying. Me.

Duskfur: no thanks, I'm having too much fun!

Audience: HAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHA

Rosethorn: I AM BALD! :runs off to wig shop with jayfeather:

Bramblestar: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA 10/10

Onestar: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA 10/10

Rowanstar: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA 10/10

Mistystar: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA 10/10

Smoketalon: so duskfur is through to the next round! Next up is mosspelt

Mosspelt: I DON WANNA DO DIS ANY MWOORRREEE! TAKE ME BACK TO STARCLAN MAMA

Bluestar: :comes back down from starclan: I thought you only wanted to get reincarnated because you wanted to win this

Mosspelt: I ONWY WANNED A WAWWIAR NWAME!

Sol: disqualified for shamelessly crying to your mama. Can I have a drink? All this yelling is making my throat dry

Smoketalon: ok then. Here is 3 litres of apple juice

Sol: thank you kindly. :gulps down all the apple juice:

Smoketalon: ok then... Next up is lakeheart

Lakeheart: I will be insulting sol

Sol: disqualified for insulting me.

Lakeheart: hey! I haven't even started yet!

Sol: then maybe you shouldn't have announced you were going to be insulting the referee

Lakeheart: thats not fair!

Sol: :lifts Smoketalons super flamethrower: problem?

Lakeheart: yes. You are a sucky referee and aught to be fired!

Sol: :incinerates lakeheart: an dat is why you no mess with ze sollywolly!

Smoketalon: letsmoveonnextupis HERONWING!

Heronwing: I will be singing a song of praise

Smoketalon: ok then, start after ooohhh! Rosethorn is back! And she had plastic surgery as well!

Rosethorn: start after...

Smoketalon: ooohhhh... Whats this button? :presses button:

Random-rosethorn: hello. You have discovered rosethorns random mode. Oooohhh discovered has disco in it! :starts dancing: You can turn off hex mode by repressing button. Oh, I can do the can can! :does the can can:

Smoketalon: where were we again?

Random-rosethorn: according to my calculations, we are approximately half-way from the moon

Smoketalon: and how do you figure that?

Rosethorn: simply divide the colour of the sky by cucumber

Audience: 0_O

Smoketalon: and the answer is half moon?

Jayfeather: :rushes in: HALF MOON! HALF MOON! WHERE ARE YOU!

Smoketalon: ooohhhh, jayfeather got plastic surgery too

Heronwing: are we going to get on with this or not

Random-Rosethorn: MELON MELON MELON

Smoketalon: ok then! Start after jayfeather has blown the trumpet

 **Dalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaa**

Random-rosethorn: out of cheese error!

Smoketalon: finally jayfeather has blown the trumpet, and not some other obnoxious item.

Heronwing: sol is an obnoxious little idiot, and smells like fox dung...

Sol: just cawll meh SOLLYWOLLY

Heronwing: he DESTROYED US! Sol...

Sol: :lifts smoketalons super flamethrower: I said cawll meh SOLLYWOLLY

Heronwing: and he is as good as a Twoleg!

Sol: :incinerates heronwing: just cawll meh wolly. Sollywolly

Random-rosethorn: It looks like you have just drinked 3 litres of 12% alcoholic apple cider. Apple cider lalalallalalalalalalallalalalalallalalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa cheses beer and rum and haaaaattttttttiiiiiiiiiieeeewesssss

Smoketalon: I should really turn that off...

Random-Rosethorn: press de button or diiieeeoooaaauuu

Smoketalon: fine. :presses button: next up is... Minnowtail!

Minnowtail: I will be dancing

Rosethorn: cool! Start after jayfeather blows the trumpet

 **Pfffffffft ta ta pfft pfft pfft ta ta pffffffffft ta ta pfft pfft pfft tata**

Smoketalon: WHO HAS AN AUTOMATIC RAP MACHINE

Rosethorn: minnowtail is dancing. Errrr... Nothing much to it.

Minnowtail: Lalaaaalaalaaaalaaalaaaalalaaalaalaaalaalaaa

laaalaaaaaaalaalaalalalaaalalaalalaalalaalalaalalaa

Bramblestar: good, but still a little blah. 7/10

Onestar: I'm ok with it. 7/10

Rowanstar: gah! 7/10

Mistystar: I love you minnowtail! 9/10

Smoketalon: :cough: surprisingly, minnowtail is through! Next up is willowshine!

Willowshine: I will be flying

Rosethorn: and how will you do that?

Willowshine: secret

Smoketalon: ok then. Start after jayfeather has blown the trumpet.

 **Pfffffffffffffft lets go CRZY CRAZY CRAZY pfffft**

Rosethorn: GET OFF MY RECORD PLAYER! :lifts smoketalons super flamethrower:

Smoketalon: willowshine is floating in midair, about 2 fox lengths from the ground. Amazing

Bramblestar: how can you do that? 10/10

Rowanstar: tricks tricks, dirty tricks. 0/10

Onestar: wow. 10/10

Mistystar: you must me standing on starclans shoulders! 10/10

Rosethorn: so willowshine is through to the next round. Next up is reedwhisker

Reedwhisker: I will be doing magic!

Smoketalon: start after jayfeather blows the trumpet

Reedwhisker: can I hav...

Sol: disqualified foe no changing meh name to SOLLYWOLLY

Reedwhisker: I hereby change your name to sollywolly are you ok now

Sollywolly: yes... But you have to hoola dance

Reedwhisker: 0_O :hoola dances:

Bramblestar: I give you 10/10 because sol... I mean Sollywolly, is an idiot

Mistystar: same

Onestar: same

Rowanstar: same

Rosethorn: sooooo... Next up is mothwing

Mothwing: I will be singing with starclan!

Sollywolly: disqualified because you don't believe in starclan

Mothwing: how can I not believe in starclan if my brother killed hollyleaf?

Sollywolly: because yo ran idiot

Smoketalon: sol, you're sacked. Mothwing, continue

Sollywolly: NOOOOOOOOOO call me SOLLYWOLLY

Rosethorn: you may start. Jayfeather doesn't need to blow the trumpet any more. But we need a new referee... The new referee will be here at the next round!

Mothwing: starclan, come here, and sing with me!

Yellowfang: its not as easy as that mothwing. Even your apprentice is better.

Mothwing: waaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh :runs off stage:

Bramblestar: 0/10

Onestar: 0/10

Rowanstar: 0/10

Mistystar: poor mothwing! 10/10

Smoketalon: so mothwing is out. That leaves her, mallownose, lakeheart, mosspelt and heronwing out...

Rosethorn: and heavystep, duskfur, minnowtail, willowshine and reedwhisker are through to the next round!

Smoketalon: join us next time, for windclans auditions!

Rosethorn: and a new mystery referee!

 **(and now its time to sit vigil for mallownose, lakeheart, heronwing, and rosethorns hair)**


	5. Chapter 5: windclan auditions

**Sorry I haven't updated in like, two months but I got bored. This is the only round with a fan made guest rounds guest commentator is flamewing, a ginger she cat with black tabby stripes. Thanks to flamespirit of the storm for making her.**

Smoketalon: hello, and welcome to windclans auditions for warrior cats got talent! I am smoketalon...

Rosethorn: and I am rosethorn!

Flamewing: and I am flamewing the wonderful guest commentator. OOOHHH IS THAT CANDY :gobbles up rosethorns candy:

Mew: mew! :thwacks flamewing:

Flamewing: YEOOWWWIEEEEE

Smoketalon: and now the moment we've all been waiting for...

Rosethorn: our new referee is...

Stargleam: ME!

Audience: :screams: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Heavystep: :dies of shock 50000 times: NOOOOOOOOOO

bramblestar: YOU SUCK AT CHOOSING REFEREES

Rowanstar: WERE ALL GONNA DIEEEEEEEEE

Flamewing: I'LL FLIPPING EAT YOU

Stargleam: 0_O

Smoketalon: first up is harespring!

Heavystep: HOW CAN YOU IGNORE STARGLEAM! :dies of shock another 100000 times:

Rosethorn: GET OVER IT

Harespring: I will be insulting lionblaze

Stargleam: disqualified because thats mean and starclan chose him to save the clans!

Harespring: what a goody goody two-shoes starclan-lover

Smoketalon: next-up-is-CROWFEATHER!

Crowfeather: I will be tightrope walking

Rosethorn: cool! You may start

Flamewing: yaaa

Smoketalon: crowfeather jumps on a rope that magically appears on stage.

Stargleam: IT MUST BE STARCLAN

Flamewing: :screams: MAGIC

Rosethorn: crowfeather balances on the tip of his tail, and jumps. He lands on his shortest whisker. This was all on the tightrope!

Bramblestar: amazing. 10/10

Rowanstar: 0_O 10/10

Mistystar: you are so talented! 10/10

Onestar: its all tricks. He's done it a million times. His nickname is mr la-de-da 3/10

Flamewing: crowfeather is THROOUUUUOOOOUUUOOOU

Onestar: may I please pause these wonderful acts to do a much needed ceremony?

Flamewing: yaya

Onestar: thankyou. Featherpaw and slightpaw, do you promise to serve your clan, and protect it with your life?

Slightpaw and featherpaw: yes!

Flamewing: YAAAAA

Onestar: then from this moment on, unless you both become leaders which is highly unlikely...

Slightpaw and featherpaw: hey!

Onestar: slightpaw, you will be known as slightslip

Slightslip: BUT I ONLY HAD A SLIGHT SLIP! 30 times...

Onestar: and featherpaw, you will be known as featherface

Featherface: 0_O

Onestar: I have one more duty to do. Crowfeather, you name no longer says who you are. From now on you will be called crow-la-de-da, and are forbidden to become leader...

Stargleam: that is for starcla...

Crow-la-de-da: SHUDDUP

Smoketalon: how come stargleam is so good at speaking all of a sudden? I thought you said "parol" and "starcaln" and worst of all, "HOLYLEAF"

Rosethorn: lets just move on. Next up is nightcloud

Nightcloud: I will be insulting leafpool

Stargleam: you are disqualified because thats not nice and leafpool is mother to 2 of the most important cats in the history of the clans...

Hollyleaf: HEY

Flamewing: still DISQUALIALIALIALIALIALIALIALIFIED!

Rosethorn: ok then... Next up is... Gorsetail!

Gorsetail: I will be doing raspberries at Lionblaze

Lionblaze: whhyyy is the wwwoooorrrrllldd so cccrrruuueeelll

Stargleam: thats mean so you're disqualified

Smoketalon: next up is...

Flamewing: LEAFTAIL YAYA THATS RIGHT

Leaftail: I will be doing racing

Stargleam: you may start

Rosethorn: THATS MY LINE

Stargleam: I'm sooooo sorry!

Leaftail: WHO IS THE FASTEST CAT?

Audience: ONESTAR!

Leaftail: Onestar, I challenge you to a race!

Onestar: ok then. Prepare to die loser!

Smoketalon: they set up for the race, and leaftail is ready to go, but onestar is looking a bit flustered there!

Rosethorn: Stargleam will start the race in a few minutes... No! They have decided to start now!

Stargleam: Ready... Steady...

Flamewing: I'll flipping eat you! Its set not STEADYEDYEDY

Stargleam: calm down, ok then. Ready. Set CHEESEBURGERS

Flamewing: You were mean't to say GO! I'll flipping eat you!

Stargleam: mind your own beeswax. Sheesh. Ready steady...

Flamewing: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOES

Stargleam: Nose?

Smoketalon: JUST START IT ALREADY!

Stargleam: ready... Set... GOOGLY EYES!

Rosethorn: YOU'RE FIRED

Stargleam: NOOOOOO

Smoketalon: ready... Set... GO!

Rosethorn: they're off! Leaftail is winning!

Smoketalon: and leaftail has won by about... 9.23 fox lengths!

Bramblestar: HAHA! The power of humiliation... 10/10

Rowanstar: bad onestar! 10/10

Mistystar: we should make a comic book about you! And a TV show... Maybe called the flash!

TV cop: copyright! The flash is taken!

Mistystar: spoilsport! 10/10

Onestar: I... Hate... You... 0/10

Rosethorn: so leaftail is through to the next round

Smoketalon: Next up is Emberfoot!

Emberfoot: I will be telling the fuuutttttuuuurrrrreeeee

Flamewing: Oooooh... Ahhhhhhh...

Emberfoot: Mistystar will die of old age nine times in ten seconds

Mistystar: WHAT?

Rosethorn: 10

Smoketalon: 9

Stargleam: 8

Rosethorn: I THOUGHT WE SACKED YOU!

Flamewing: 7

Smoketalon: 6

Rosethorn: 5

Onestar: 4

Bramblestar: 3

Rowanstar: 2

Stargleam: 1

Smoketalon: WE SACKED YOU NOW GO AWAY!

Mistystar: :dies nine times:

Yellowfang: Its time to go to starclan!

Mistystar: No! There is still so much I need to do!

Yellowfang: do it in a second life

Mistystar: its so unfair! I lost all my lives at once!

Yellowfang: starclan can't heal old age

Mistystar: nooooooooooo!

Emberfoot: the world will explode in 10 seconds

Everyone: noooooooooooooo!

Flamewing: yeeeeeeeeeeeees!

Rosethorn: 10... 9... 8...

Smoketalon: 7... 6... 5...

Flamewing: foury... Threey... Twoey...

Stargleam: one...

Smoketalon & Rosethorn: I THOUGHT WE SACKED YOU!

World: BOOOM :explodes killing everyone but stargleam:

Stargleam: so... Warrior cats got talent is now discontinued because none of the contestants, judges and commentators survived the explosion. BYE! Only me and my mary suey randomness


End file.
